Tuesday, May 7, 2013

first date- a short story

heya guys!
so, i've been debating whether i should post this short story (flash fiction) i wrote a couple years back.  seeing as the last person i shared it with read it before bed and proceeded to have nightmares... it might be a little intense.  but i get a chuckle out of it, and i fear that i have come across as pretty uptight and lacking in the ability to laugh at dark humor lately. and i want to show that that isn't true.
also, i'm trying to have the guts to not be scared to post my opinions, stories, and whatnot, for fear of what others will think of me.
WARNING: contains language and controversial content, read at your own risk
(i really hope you like it)

-vic caswell

                Her breath smells like cotton candy. 

She stretches onto her tiptoes to whisper in my ear.  “I don’t have to be home for another hour.” Her lips are so close to my ear, goosebumps rip down my arms. Elena loses her balance for a moment and her boobs brush against my arm.  Oh my God, I just touched a boob.  Does that count?  Keep cool, Doug.  Keep cool…

 Ah, Hell, she’s still talking.  

“Huh?”  I pretend like I was watching the bearded lady and the tall man make out in the shadows between two tents.  It’s not a total act.  If they get it on tonight, I wonder what kind of freak babies they’d have?

“I said,” Elena wraps both her arms around my neck, her fingers twirling in my hair.  “I’ve still got an hour.  You wanna go to your car or something?”

My car?
Dude.  She wants to go to my car. 

Her hands are so tiny, I can hold both of hers in one of mine.  We head back to the parking lot.  Just walk slow, man. Make her think she’s not the first girl you’ve taken to your car. 

It’s late and all the moms and pops have taken their kiddos home.  Now, the freaks have come out to play.  A clown with a rainbow ‘fro takes a drag of his home-rolled smokes and checks out Elena’s ass as we walk by.  The snake man and two midgets- err, little people- whatever the hell they want to be called- duck into a tent, smiling suggestively at each other.  Damn, the circus is like an effin’ aphrodisiac to these people.

 At least it works for Elena too.

We get to my Camino- I know, right? -and I open the passenger door for her. Elena arches her eyebrows at me, pleased at my gentlemanly ways.  She’s definitely going to let me touch her boobs tonight.
I head over to the driver’s side, but something catches my eye- a flash of white moving through the windows of a car down the way.  I should probably check it out.  Be the brave guy.  I bet that’ll get her hot.

I pull the door open, and pop my head in.  “Be right back, babe.” 
I should get a leather jacket. I’m a total bad-ass.

Nothing looks out of the ordinary as I stroll around a few cars. There’s popcorn and peanut shells all over the place.  They crunch under my feet as I make my way back to the Camino.  Damn waste of good food.

I thud down into the driver’s seat, because real men thud, you know. 
Elena looks scared. “Where’d you go?”

“Nowhere.  Thought I saw something, but it was nothing.”
“Oh. So, it’s safe?” 

“Yup.  Don’t you worry, babe.  You’re safe with me.”  Her legs are parted, and I take the opportunity to place one hand halfway up her thigh. 

She leans towards me, and we’re kissing.  Her tongue traces the inside of my upper lip.  She turns herself, and she’s facing me, leaning into me, pressing me against the window.  She wants me bad.   She straddles me- oh, Hell yes- and I run my hands down her back, and palm that ass I’ve admired for so long.

Cold metal bands snare around my wrists. 

Handcuffs?  What the Hell?  How’d she do that?  I don’t know if I can handle that kind of kink, this being my first time and all.

Then she isn’t kissing me anymore.  She leans back, my arms handcuffed in a loop around her.  She smiles, but not at me, at something behind me.

My eyes dart to the rearview mirror. 

He smiles at me too, but the smile is painted on in thick red makeup on a white face, one black diamond under each eye.  He’s lost the wig, and his hair falls in black, greasy clumps. 

I want to scream, but the blade he digs into my Adam’s apple demands silence.

Elena laughs- a giddy, uncontrolled laugh.  I’ve never heard her make that kind of noise before.  She leans forward, her boobs press into my face, but it does nothing for me.  

Then she’s frenching the psycho clown behind me.  They make all kinds of wet slurpy noises.  Her hips are grinding against me.

I’m going to puke all over her boobs.

After what feels like forever, she pulls away from him.  Blood red makeup - but black in the darkness- smeared from her nose to her chin.  She looks at me, and runs one finger down my chest, and keeps running it down until her hand rests on my fly.

“So, what do you wanna do with this one?”  She smiles sweetly at me, just like the day we met in Home Ec.

I can’t look at her anymore.  My eyes go to the rearview again, where he’s staring right back into my eyes.  His mouth isn’t smiling.  Not even the makeup anymore.  Elena’s made as much of a mess of him as she has of herself.  But his eyes smile at me.  No, more than that.  They laugh at me, as though he sees right through me.

“He’s your catch, snickerdoodle.  What do you want to do with him?”

Elena giggles and claps her hands like a kid at Christmas.  Then she runs her hands through my hair, surveying my face.  She’s thinking so hard, I can almost see the hamster running the wheels behind her eyes. 
Suddenly, she snaps back, her voice caressing the words.
“Let’s bleed him.”

He hands Elena the knife and she twirls it in her hands for a minute, then she sets to work on my throat.

Funny the knife doesn’t hurt, just kinda stings a bit as she draws a smile from one of my ears to the other.  I feel the gush of warm fluid down my neck and I know it’s over.

Fuckin’ clowns.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Fall for Anything by Courtney Summers

there's something about the style with which summers writes.  it always feels so genuine- as though she actually is within the character's head- as though the characters are actually speaking.

their decisions and hopes and heartbreaks and flaws feel so tangible.  you are transported within them and every blow and ecstasy envelope you.

i have never been able to walk away from a courtney summers book unaffected or meh or numb to what has transpired.

and therein lies the brilliance.

FALL FOR ANYTHING holds equal sway.

i really, really despise spoilers.  so, we won't go into too much detail.  but if you love contemporary- stories that make you think and feel- this is a definite recommend.
if you're looking for something light or funny or magical or romancy, i would suggest looking elsewhere.  not that there aren't elements of some of those things within this novel, but that this novel is something more, something you should read while you're aware of what you're in-taking   it's a novel you should pay attention to.

well-crafted with a quick pace and achingly, genuine characters, FALL FOR ANYTHING by courtney summers is a story you won't be likely to forget.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

podcast fandom

i suffer from a pretty obstructive and persistent case of enochlophobia- the fear of crowds.  depending on the size of the space, usually more than seven people in a room and i'm starting to lose my breath.  a lot of it is dependent on the noise and my hearing difficulties- essentially the noisier the people the less of them i can handle.

you can imagine how this would make things like running errands or grocery shopping difficult.

one of the most effective coping tools i have is my mp3 player.  it helps block out the dissonant noises of the crowds, and gives me something to focus on other than the swarming masses of people and their troubles.  

thus, my obsession with podcasts.
i probably wouldn't have started listening to them if i didn't need them in a way.  but i'm really glad i have.

my current favorite is called 

they're a little risque from time to time and pretty silly usually, but they get into some deep topics and provide unique outlooks.  the best part about their show is that they never fail to be hilarious.

anyway, the other day i won a pin from them with their logo on it. and today they arrived in the mail, and there were three. and while i'd love to hoard them all, i thought it might be a better idea to give them away.

so, the first two people to listen to the POPODCAST and tell me that they're new PO fans will each win one of the pins.  

and trust me, EVERYONE who listens will be a winner!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

interview with a muse

i guess this blog started out kinda...ummm... controversial?  i don't know.
i promise there won't be that much arguing in the future.  at least i hope not.  i'm one of the least confrontational people in the world.  seriously, my nerves have been going on hyperdrive sense that last post.  

anyway, today's post is much happier!

we all have things that inspire us- art, music, words, actions, life, death, whatever.  
we'll be going about our daily business when one of these things will appear to us, and suddenly our brain starts swimming in stimulation.  
for me, it's one of the strongest kinds of high i've ever experienced.
for me, muses are almost a hallowed thing.

and for young writer Kendra Saunders something magical happened.
she got to meet one of her muses.
and moreover, she got to interview him.

the interview goes live tonight, and i'm so stoked to listen.  
maybe you'll want to tune in as well.  it'll be available on youtube via this link at approximately 11:00 pm EST.

here's all the blurby stuff:

Kendra hijacks the show once again, this time for an interview with extra special guest Dmitry Sholokhov. Dmitry, winner of Season 10 of Project Runway, talks about his gorgeous Lord & Taylor collection, styling tips for his fans, the best advice he’s received, koala bears, Indiana Jones and whether or not he really does wear that sparkly sequin gown around his house.
The arts are an exciting but crazy business and supporting your favorite artist can be as simple as sharing information about him/her on your blog or through social media. Make sure to join us Thursday night for this insightful interview with a genuinely talented, gentlemanly and funny artist!

have a great day folks!

Monday, April 15, 2013

of humor and tragedy

today something terrible happened.
like everyday.
but today it was unhidden, widespread, and lethal.
such days have been known to happen in our history.
and dark solemnity touches the hearts of the collective of humanity.
we take a moment bought by too high a price to appreciate what and who we still have to hold onto.

but there are others.  oh so many others who lost so much.
their limbs, their loves, their lives.
and their loss demands our respect- if nothing else.

i scroll though facebook like everyone else.  honestly, probably too often.  and in the scraps of highs and lows recorded there today i found this respect.  i found many other things beyond decency, like empathy, and a call for helpers- the reactions to such horror as one would hope would be displayed.

but i also found something else.
a comedian (who will further more be referred to as "the ass"- of whom i was a growing fan) posting jokes about today's tragedy in boston.
the victim count is not complete.
the families have not yet been able to rest their heads on their pillows and face sleepless nights.
hell, the volunteers and witnesses probably still have rubble in their hair, filth on their cheeks.
and the ass thinks that there is no harm in a few sentences blurted out on the internet.
in fact, when called out on it by a multitude of people, the ass made a stance about the acceptability of what he was doing- saying it was no worse than other media coverage.

and i mean there is merit in that.  the sensationalism of horrors, the wild speculation, the obsession.  i'm not a fan of the way the news covers events.

but that doesn't make what the ass is doing alright.  it just makes the ass... an ass.

humor is one of the virtues of life that i value the most.  especially humor that can take tragedy and make us see some kind of twisted upside or hope or quirk there.  humor that doesn't take things to seriously.  that understands terribleness is all around us.
war, hunger, abuse, rape, bullying, bigotry, disease, neglect...
the thrumming beat that ticks beneath the surface of our everyday- this terribleness seeks to pull us under so that we can no longer see the wonderfulness mounded on top of it.  trying to squash it away, trying to negate it's influence over us.  and humor applied well and liberally can help buoy us against it.

irreverent humor can be one of the most uplifting things out there.
but to get it right, i am sure is no small easy task.
the secret lies within the heart of the joke-teller, i am sure.
and a man who has no sense to weep over the tragedy laid naked on the streets of boston today, does not have the heart or wisdom to decipher which things to say and which to keep to himself.

and such a man no longer has my ear.

which is the strongest disapproval i have to offer.